I Have One Massive Problem with Frozen II

The Massive Problem

We might as well get the massive problem out of the way, right off the bat. It’s happening during this moment.

The most egregious mistake in all of Disneydom

Olaf the ever-so-slightly too annoying snowman and Anna the younger-siblingest Disney Princess are singing a very catchy opening number¹, “Some Things Never Change”, with the visuals a clear counterpoint to their misplaced belief in the continuation of the status quo. Great statement of intent, love to have visual jokes early on.

BUT THEN. Olaf boards a handcar² on the train tracks, Anna changes the railway points to save him from careening away forever, the vehicle hits into a buffer stop, as seen in the image above, and then the laws of physics are irreversibly and unutterably broken in Arendelle for all time.

Olaf flies backwards.

After moving at speed towards a barrier and then coming to a full stop.

Reader, I vomited.

No, not really, but it just looks so completely wrong. And yes, I studied physics to a Masters level³, so I might be more keenly aware of such things. But does human instinct not kick in? It’s the uncanny valley of physics.

I have no idea if anyone else watching Frozen II has ever thought this, but I hope I have some kindred spirits who can feel the wrong in their bones.

Here’s a video. Prepare yourself.

To my eye, the entire world stops and decides that Olaf has to fly backwards, to save those poor animators weeks of work with an extra scene.

Ok, phew. That’s out of the way. Now I can tell you all of the reasons why I adore Frozen II.

Frozen II: A Love Story

If you’re going to fall in love with a new film, the Dominion Cinema in Edinburgh is the place to do it. Particularly on a dark and frosty winter’s evening in November 2019, when you’ve booked a sofa seat for you and your wife for a sequel to a film that probably contributed to you living in a new city for 18 months or so.

We saw Frozen⁴ on a long weekend holiday to York in 2013. We were still struggling out of the doldrums of spending every penny we had on a last hurrah trip up the East Coast of Australia before our Working Holiday Visas ended, one year prior. I guess we had enough money for two train tickets (on a railcard, we were still under 30, those were the days) and a small B&B room. From what I remember the main draw of that B&B was the smell of fresh baked bread every morning, which made its way right up to the attic room we could afford.

We could obviously also afford two cinema tickets. It feels like a dream, but I’m pretty certain that the auditorium was absolutely massive, a thousand seats maybe? It looked like an old theatre that had changed its mind. There were not many viewers, just us and a few other solo Disney fiends. There was maybe another couple.

My wife and I are lifelong confirmed fans of Disney animation and we were absolutely blown away by the songs, the performances, the twist (don’t forget how much of an incredible goddamn twist Prince Hans was) and the focus on a different kind of true love. The magic of that night spread out into the world of York. I’m pretty certain it really snowed. We moved there in 2015.

Unfortunately without the magic of Disney tinting our vision, the centre of York where we lived was too often populated by swarms of drunken stag and hen conglomerations embarrassing themselves all over the pavements. We moved back to Edinburgh, where the drunken revellers are more distributed and easily avoided thanks to the multiple street levels.

So, Frozen II at the Dominion. Excitement for the film, a reclining sofa, waiter service to your seat and a packed cinema of fans. It was, again, utterly magical. And the film was great. As I mentioned about Wicked, there is an optimum quality of film that is good enough, but with flaws, to warrant a full and enlivening discussion. The magic spread out. I’m pretty certain it snowed. Maybe just frost⁵. Our tour through Frozen II took us to the bus stop, on the bus all the way home, and well into the night. Until my wife fell asleep. I probably kept talking.

Then suddenly it was 2020, with all that that entailed. In June, Disney released Into the Unknown: Making Frozen II⁶ and it showed me and my wife the work and strife and magic that went into creating Frozen II. It felt like something honest that Disney let slip by them, seeing behind the curtain. And so we loved it even more.

And then we had a daughter in October 2020. Her life was much more indoors and restricted than we might have expected given the global sitch, and she, like the rest of her generation of children, may well have watched more screens than we would have ideally liked⁷. But at some point, we showed her Frozen, and Frozen II. And of course our love for those films grew ever more, as she discovered them, and sang the songs, and did her magic.

So I adore Frozen II.

And I watched it with my daughter in November 2024, while I was laid up in bed unable to move.

Bedbound Rewatch

On Tuesday 19th November 2024, I deigned to dry my legs after my shower. And my back said NOPE. It seized up completely. I have no idea how I got to the bed from the bathroom, but I do know that I had no clothes on. Thank you to my wife for not laughing too much when I shouted through the pain for her to bring me my boxers.

It was nothing serious, by which I mean it was a muscular thing and nothing more sinister. The pain was pretty serious. The crawling on my hands and knees to the toilet on that first day, flexing everything in opposite directions to make sure nothing escaped that shouldn’t, that was quite serious.

I was off work for two weeks in the end, but by 22nd November I was comfortable enough to watch a film with my daughter in bed. This was to give my heroic wife a short break to do a million other things in the house, without childcare added in. I gave our daughter free reign of what we should watch, within reason for a four year old.⁸

My daughter chose Frozen II.

Being me, The Televigionist, I made some notes on a film I adore.

minor Annoyances

“Ahtawha-hoo?” In the opening scene, Elsa and Anna⁹ are hearing about how their parents met. Set up the story etc. But Anna’s mispronounciation of Ahtohallan sounds forced and twee. NB Olaf calls back to this later on, which I had forgotten¹⁰. Doesn’t make it better.
Speaking of forced, the worst bit of Frozen II, Kristoff’s failed proposals and communication breakdown with Anna have never felt motivated by character. The second proposal is a little funnier. And it does inspire possibly the best song, “Lost in the Woods”.
It’s a shame for me that Olaf and the film proposes the “memory of water” as a real thing and sort of condones homeopathy. I’d rather they proposed it as Water Magic and avoided hogwash.
Really not sure about Elsa’s embarrassment about Let It Go as she traverses her memories. Don’t be afraid of letting it all out Elsa! It feels like it panders to the parents, and isn’t necessary.
It doesn’t quite make sense that the memory of the King’s betrayal is more deeply hidden, does it? Do memories others have hidden need more work to unleash?
Anna’s song is the least successful, not for performance, but just doesn’t hit right. It’s motivated and required, but something is off.
Kristoff being direct solves their problem. But he already was! I guess he got caught up in the secret and expectations of a proposal. If I’m being generous.

jokes that really work

Olaf’s “Samantha” is hilarious.
Olaf’s recap. Spectacular.
“Try not to scream” stifled scream is HILARIOUS
Olaf dressed is hilarious and horrible.
This whole section is Olaf. I guess he’s not as annoying as I thought!

Stray Observations

Elsa is actually good enough at charades! It’s Anna who is not looking! I’m Team Elsa.
If Frozen is winter, Frozen 2 is Autumn (season of change), including the colour palette. Frozen 3 = Summer?? Hawaii? Lilo and Stitch crossover????
“When I Am Older”, Olaf’s song in this film, is definitely just a new version of “In Summer”. But it does lead beautifully to the next action sequence and plot point. It’s OK to follow the Frozen formula of songs, because it’s just the formula of musicals.
How do oppressed native peoples feel about it? Frozen 2 – Thematic Analysis (Wikipedia)
The villain is “the evils of past generations” – that’s a cool step forward for a Disney film. But maybe the film can’t quite deal with that.
Is Kristoff’s “I know the woods…” a tease for Frozen 3?!? It is a long held theory of mine, that he’ll be the focus of 3 and has a secret past. Wishful thinking, when it’s probably just a nothing line.
My daughter was using a pointing hand stick to press the spacebar to pause the film for rearrangement of cushions and blankets. Adorable.
“Arendelle has no future unless we make this right” – would it have been better to rebuild Arendelle rather than save it as is? It just about works saying the spirits were gracious and allowed/helped it to be saved…
I love the ending scene with magic bird emails and ice horse!

The Best Bits

The film really captures the genuine warm glow of finishing a party as they all head home at the end of “Some Things Never Change”.
Elsa’s song “Into the Unknown” is so good. A “Let it Go” beater for me. Overall, Elsa’s journey is very well defined and engaging.
“Lost in the Woods” is the most fun song in the film. The animators are having a huge amount of fun with style, it has a perfect voal performance and over the top lyrics. I just wish it was better motivated in the story.
Elsa’s sending away of Anna and Olaf is very motivated, and Olaf’s anger is a lovely development for him. This part of the story really works.
Elsa’s hero trial with the ocean is great, no wonder it was the teaser. The score is perfect. The taming of the elements is a great idea.
“Show Yourself” is another amazing song. And the emotive animation on Elsa is the best I’ve ever seen in 3D animation, and makes me well up every time (just after her gorgeous new dress appears¹¹). I’m a sucker for a ballad in a musical. And it ends with a *BOOM* – there’s nothing better.
Olaf’s “You all came back” is a lovely line
And two queens ruling is a great ending.

This is Televigion

I’m not sure any viewing experience can be separated from the context and the person or people viewing it. So that is why Televigion exists, and I don’t want it to be television reviews. Because we need to share who we are, so that we can understand the things that we watch, and then we can learn about each other.

So please let me know how you’ve watched Frozen II.

And I’ll keep telling you who I am through the things I’ve watched.

Footnotes

Yes, it’s not the first song, but it is obviously the musical opening number. ↩︎
This is not a word that was in my head, despite having the clearest visual. I had to Google Wile E Coyote’s favourite mode of transport to get the name. See also buffer stop in the next sentence. ↩︎
I now see the error of my ways. That error can be summed up “ability + societal expectations ≠ happiness”. Follow your passions first, aptitudes later. And money last of all. ↩︎
Calling it Frozen 1 feels very wrong. As does Frozen I. ↩︎
There’s something to be said for releasing an ice-themed film during winter. ↩︎
If you don’t want to watch all of that, I recommend reading at least the article about Frozen 2 on Wikipedia to see how troubled the production was, and then do the same for Frozen. There is some magic at work for these films to exist at all. ↩︎
This is what I’m supposed to say, as you might have gathered, I have no problem with almost any amount of screen time. ↩︎
I let her watch some of the Goosebumps film once. She enjoyed it. ↩︎
Eldest first sounds wrong, doesn’t it? Like Ted and Bill. Or Sweep and Sooty. ↩︎
Olaf’s callback to the mispronunciation occurs during my first viewing when I had to go to the toilet, so that bit of the film will forever not be in my head, and is always a surprise. That includes finding the ship. I was back for the “Why don’t they make the whole ship out of the black box material?” line. ↩︎
My daughter has the doll in that dress. It sings. She obviously loves it too. ↩︎